MY FAVOURITE JOKE

Only just under a week to go before Christmas - and that means the usual kinds of jokes you get in crackers, all over again! Here's a substitute, my favourite elephant joke ever:

What's grey, and sings the blues?

Answer in ROT13 : Ryrcunagf Trenyq

If you don't get it, try saying it aloud. If that doesn't help, click here!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS ENTOMOLOGISTS EVERYWHERE

I found this beautiful, early Russian animation, "The Insects' Christmas" on YouTube. It's an absolute delight, and remains surprisingly undated.

MORE GIFTS FOR SCIENCE GEEKS

Okay, Christmas is getting pretty close now, and this is the time that I usually start assessing whether I have enough stocking fillers, so I thought I'd do a little post on some smaller and lower-priced things that physics and maths geeks in particular might like.



Moodicare Colour Changing Alarm Clock
I've had one of these for two years now, and I'll honestly never tire of it. It's utterly beautiful, and you can tell the time at night to any necessary accuracy without being able to see the face, simply from the colour. Anyone who wakes up in the night bleary-eyed will wonder how they ever managed without it. See also the Water Powered Alarm Clock

The Physics of Christmas
Two of the most wonderful things in life, Physics AND Christmas - what more could anybody want? See also the Glow in the Dark Solar System

Plasma Ball
How wonderful are these? They never stop being beautiful, no matter how many times you see them. Nobody could possibly have too many of them, and these days they're affordable.

The Penguin Book of Curious and Interesting Numbers
Every mathematician knows that there are no uninteresting numbers, and some can even give a proof. This is a fantastic compendium of the most interesting - a delight for mathematicians, and a source of inspiration to all those who simply wonder at the beauty of numbers. See also The Colossal Book of Short Puzzles and Problems and Irresistible Integrals

T-Shirt: No I will not fix your computer
The shirt that saves a thousand words. Let the whole world know when you are off-duty. See also I don't work here

Dynaflex Powerball Gyroscope
Fantastic gyroscope on acid, with built in bright blue LED and capable of rotation upto 15,000 rpm.

Squid LED Flexible Light
Gorgeous little flashlight with 3 white LEDs. See also the Glow Mini Lizard

The Best of the Annals of Improbable Research
This latest compendium includes a listing of the Ig Nobel prizes, annually awarded "for scientific achievements which cannot or should not be reproduced," and some of the prizewinning papers, such as "Failure of Electric Shock Treatment for Rattlesnake Envenomation" and "Of Mites and Man." There are also plenty of groundbreaking original studies from AIR: "How Dead Is a Doornail?" "Furniture Airbags," and "The Medical Effects of Kissing Boo-Boos."

The Best of MAKE
384 pages of the best projects from the first 10 years of MAKE magazine.

T-Shirt: Generic Humanoid Carbon Unit
This T-shirt accurately announces the life-form of its wearer, distinguishing it from the silicon-based variety it keeps closest company with. From the brilliant ThinkGeek - see also the WIFI Detector T-Shirt, and Bow before me, for I am root.

10 BRILLIANT CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR SCIENCE GEEKS

Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day! There's just such a lot of beautiful stuff out there. Some things, in particular appeal to the physics or maths geek.

Here's a round-up of some that I like the best:

1. Acme Klein Bottles

The classic, one sided, zero volume container is one of several topological curiosities made by Cliff Stoll (whose Erdös Number is 3) at Acme Klein Bottles.


Technically a four-dimensional object, it is immersed in three dimensions for convenience of viewing and handling, in quality borosilicate glass. From the "baby" to absolutely huge, their range is impressive, and each comes with a mass of informative literature that you will want to frame.

It doesn't end with Klein bottles, though. There's also the Cup of Tantalus, great for geeks with a penchant for practical jokes, and you can also wrap up warm with a Klein hat and Möbius scarf set. Pure Genius.


2. Lichtenberg Figures

Don't you just love lightning? Bert Hickman at Stoneridge Engineering does exceedingly dangerous things with it, and captures the results in perspex.


The fractal patterns generated are just incredible, especially when viewed using one of the LED illuminating bases they supply. Most of the sculptures are generated using electron beams with energies of between 3 and 5 MeV. Much more information is available on the website.

He also shrinks coins:







3. Stirling Engine

An old favourite, but currently enjoying a bit of a comeback, Stirling engines are beautiful in their simplicity, and look as if they are working with no energy source.


In fact, they are driven by temperature difference between the top and bottom plates of the air reservoir that houses the piston. From precision machined works of art to basic models, it's also good to know that they're also relatively easy to make out of ordinary household bits and pieces.


4. Bathsheba Mathematical Sculptures

Bathsheba Grossman's sculptures are absolutely exquisite.




Like the Schwarz D Surface and gyroid shown here, many are made by a 3d modelling technique. She also uses laser etching to create amazing 3d sculptures in perspex, from astronomical models to mathematical figures and biolochemical molecules. Here's her Calabi-Yau manifold, and quaternion Julia set:



She also has two delightful LED keyrings available; Buckyball and DNA:










If you have the patience and skill, she also has a few patterns of her designs to download and make yourself.


5. Theremin

The ultimate musical instrument for physics geeks.



Invented by a physicist, inordinately difficult to play, and a completely other-worldy sound make it the music of silicon heaven.






Better still, many theremins come as kits, so you can go easy on your pocket and exercise your junior electronics club knowledge at the same time. If you've done it right, you'll have your own "Forbidden Planet" sound system!


6. Quzzle

Quirkle's catalogue is all about quality, rather than quantity. They make only a very few products, but they are all precision machined to be beautiful and tactile pieces.
Quzzle is a re-engineered, reworked old favourite, a variation on the sliding block puzzle. Although it has only nine pieces, it is the most difficult puzzle of its kind in the world, amongst tens of thousands of possibilities, there is only one solution.

Quzzle comes with instructions and a web address where you can find solving tips. You can reveal them gradually, or go straight to the solution if you are too impatient.


7. Unicycle

I once met someone who had studied Physics and Philosophy joint honours.


I asked what he was doing for a living now. He was a professional juggler and unicyclist, at the local community circus. I don't know why I asked, really - in hindsight it is the obvious career path for a person with such credentials.

Of course, the unicyle is difficult to master, but that's all part of the fun. The best bit is that your hands are free, so you can work on your Quzzle while you commute.





8. 507 Mechanical Movements

All geeks love books, and when your head really hurts a picture book can be just the tonic.


Perhaps the nearest thing to a coffee-table book for nerds, this wonderful volume will inspire all the budding engineers and tinkerers, mechanics and armchair inventors.



9. Cabaret Mechanical Theatre Automata

Within Cabaret Mechanical Theatre's extended family, many geek heroes are to be found.














Their associates include the living god of "wobbly moving stuff" Tim Hunkin, automata visionary Paul Spooner and creator of dragons Keith Newstead.



If your pockets aren't quite deep enough for a ready-made automaton, there's always the designer's kit, winner of a Editor's Choice award at this years Maker Faire in Austin, Texas. Full of ready-cut wooden components, simply assemble and design your own masterpieces - no need for any tools!


10. Binary Blanket


At the end of a hard day's thinking, and maybe tinkering, all geeks need some comfort. What better than to cuddle up in a snuggly, warm blanket that declares its identity in ones and zeroes?


You could also rest your head on the lovely binary pillow, and enjoy 10 kinds of comfort at once.


HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!